Where has our love gone?
by Ashlight11
Summary: An inside look on the relationship of Goldenflower and Tigerclaw just before the Rogue attack. Not exactly matching up with the timeline in the books, sorry I was lazy. One Shot.


**A.N: Good Morning America. Not really. It's 2. So, sorry about the super slow updates, I am officilally a Freshman now! WHOO ^^ Yea, I had the Odessey Finals and the end of school and all that. But now it's summer, and everything will hopefully pickup the pace! **

**I've been wanting to make this for a while, everytime that I hear Apologize, and go ahead and look it up on YouTube, no one has a Goldenflower Apologize. Wouldn't that fit her? Well since I can't do a video, this is close enough for me. **

_I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound,_

_Tell me that you need me, and then you go and cut me down, Wait_

_Tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around, you say hey_

_Now it's too late to apologize_

_~Apologize: OneRepublic_

No, he has to be lying.

No, he wouldn't do this.

Not to me

Not to me…

My ears whispered backward, flattening in confusion, in anger, in frustration. I couldn't understand. How could he do this to me? To our kits? But there he was, standing in front of me, amber eyes searching mine; brown tabby pelt was flat against his skin, trying to appear smaller to lessen the build of his massive frame. It wasn't working.

"Goldenflower…"

His voice was a caress that held all the danger and promise of our relationship. His eyes bored into mine, the reflecting amber that acted as a mirror for both of us. He could see through me, to my shaken core.

"Tigerclaw, how could you do this? To…to _everyone_?" My voice came out as a whisper; I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I turned away as a sob tried to squirm out between my tongue and lips.

He took a step forward, resting his head over my shoulder. Normally, this would be such a position that brought butterflies to my stomach, triggering tingles that raced up and down my spine in happiness. But this was not normal, but reminisces of this spot held me captive.

"Goldenflower, this could be so good for us! We don't need ThunderClan, instead, we can be leaders, and we're destined for the higher places of the Clans. And you don't need to do anything. Nothing at all."

His poisonous words were slick like honey, feeding me gracious and regal images of us, together, forever. _'But I don't want this! Not if you are really like this!_' I thought with agony, ripping myself away from the sick images of his "future".

He could see that it wasn't working on me, instead, he became more physical, licking my head, nosing my ears, drawing his tail across my flanks in soft flickers of motion. "Our kits would be safe, and think of the legacy they could live out. Their parents, the two strongest cats in the forest, that were brave enough to search for their own ambitions, to go join their own Clan. Think of the life we would all have. Please, Goldenflower."

Tigerclaw… he never said please, never. He meant this, and if I wouldn't join him, than he would do to me what ever else he was planning for my Clan.

"So what actually happened between you and Firepaw? Am I the only one who saw it? And Ravenpaw?" I mewed brokenly, turning away from his touches. I could feel him tensing, but his voice came out Greenleaf-sweet, never giving anything away.

"Ravenpaw and I… he was a great cat. I still do miss him. But we had different opinions on Clan life. I dare say it was better for him to disappear like that before I had to do something to change his mind," his words sent shivers down my spine, "And young Firepaw… he seems to have set out on the path to delay me as best he can from receiving my StarClan-granted destiny. But they won't bother us, my sweet. Just come with me."

He could feel me turning away, avoiding those great amber eyes that were so full of passion. Instead, I had to look out into the forest, the greens and browns melting together in my blurry gaze. We were by Snakerocks, I could feel the sun burning into my fur, warming me in a way that Tigerclaw could never do again.

"You're asking me to choose between my family, my Clan, and you, Tigerclaw. I hope you know that."

He made little _tsk_-ing noises with his tongue, which rasped over my ear, trailing down my neck. "You wouldn't be leaving your family. We're all right here. We can take the kits; I'll help you. And, if al goes well, you won't be choosing between your Clan."

My face snapped back to looking at him, with his secret smile and playfully narrowed eyes. But in those yellow depths I could see the promise of blood spill.

"Tigerclaw, you wouldn't. You can't! Bluestar is one of my oldest friends, she was Lionheart's best friend, and you can't do something like that. That's murder." I croaked as my eyes were startled into huge pupils.

"I'll find a way, my love. No one will hurt Bluestar." It was an empty promise. How did he expect me to trust him? He had just admitted that he planned murder against Bluestar! Against ThunderClan! So instead, I had to go at this from a different angle.

"I don't want my kits to live like that, Tigerclaw. You would be a great father, but you know what they don't need? They don't need to be burdened with these schemes that I can never admit to anyone. I don't want them to live like that, Tigerclaw." I repeated, paws trembling, kneading the earth now. I could feel his heartbeat picking up, he had stopped touching me, and his fur bristled unhappily.

"Goldenflower, you're the one cat I can trust. Come with me. We'll be happy." His voice was stiff now, a command.

"I can't Tigerclaw. If you're going to act like this… I don't think I can be your mate anymore." I murmured and flinched swiftly as the expected blow came: a sharp thump with a sheathed paw.

"You _will_ come with me." He growled, furious now. 'How can I love you when you change like this? When you abuse me to get your way?' I didn't know. I didn't know.

"I can't Tigerclaw. I won't leave my Clan to you. Bluestar is a better leader than you will be." Now I wanted the pain, so it could equal the chasm opening in my heart. And it came, by his muscular shoulders and hard blows.

"You. Will. Come." His voice was like a demon whispering in my mind, "Or I will take away the only things that you care about." His voice softened suddenly, a vicious tone taking to it. His head turned, and I glanced up from a huddled position I didn't know I had taken to absorb the blows.

He was gazing off into the forest; I could only see the back of his head from my view point. But I knew what he had to be staring at, if not in the direction of. The camp. Where my kits were, where my friends were. 'No. He will not control me like this, never again.' The thought raged out of my head with strength I didn't know I had. And with that strength, I hit him.

Tigerclaw stumbled, turning around with narrowed eyes, teeth bared in a snarl.

"You will not _ever_ hurt anyone else," I began, standing slowly, tail lashing behind me with more confidence than I actually felt. "You will not hurt out kits; you will not hurt my Clan. Don't think that this won't go back to Bluestar, don't think I _won't_. But we're over Tigerclaw. You can't control me, not ever again. We're done."

He looked startled; obviously he wasn't ready for his docile mate to stand up to him, the best warrior in the Clan, who had been denied deputyship twice. But I was, and he couldn't break me.

I stalked away from him, praying to StarClan that no other she-cat would fall for his good looks, for the deceiving sweetness. But even from across the sun-scorched clearing, I could hear his words whispering after me.

"You won't be free of my Goldenflower, no one is. I am the vine that will slowly choke the mighty tree, squeezing so tightly with no escape. If you whisper one word about our conversation, I will know. I will know, and when you take your eyes off our kits, they will be gone. And in their place will be a stone. A stone with their features, covered in blood and gore. They will not be your children, they are mine, and I will take care of them as they please. No one will question the loving father that takes his kits out into the forest, and, oops, a tragic accident happens. So shut your mouth, watch your tongue. Because I'm not afraid to spill the blood of my kin."

I whipped around, eyes wide with fear in time to see a brown tabby tail vanish into the undergrowth.

After that day, I never spoke to Tigerclaw again. I knew what was coming though; I tried to warn the queens in different ways. But I was prepared when the rogues attacked; I tried to get to Bluestar. But then he would know. Yet again, Tigerclaw had positioned me to choose between him and my Clan, and my family. But I know that I made the best decision I could. Now I can just hope that my children will make the better decision too…to stay away from their father, the murderer.

**Yet Tawneypelt goes off and joins ShadowClan. Rerally, you would think she would've saw this in a better light. Poor Goldenflower, such an abusive husband! D: But in the begining, you can see a little of what they shared before. Hope you liked it, spread the word to make some YouTube videos on this. **

**Actually, Feathtail and Bring me to life would also be a good video. Just expressing what I think! ~Ashy**


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